Sunday, December 6, 2009


During my shift yesterday, a co-worker asked me to tell her something about myself that not a lot of people know. I scrambled to find a suitable answer that would satisfy her question. Of course, the #1 secret about me that nobody knows is that I am gay. I am still not ready to come out to anybody just yet, especially someone I see every other day. What if she freaks out and doesn't want to be my friend anymore? What if she goes and tells everybody else at work? So I quickly tried to think of something. I think I took longer than she expected, so she probably figured that I was covering up a bigger secret.

I finally told her that not only have I never had any type of long-term relationship, never had a girlfriend in high school (which is true), but I also have never been kissed (also true!). Yes, I went to prom and homecoming, but we went as friends. I even took the same girl to both Junior and Senior Prom. So my co-worker began asking why I've never dated anyone, and I gave her some bullshit answer about being afraid of commitment, being let down, etc.

So, yeah, I have never known what it feels like to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, or even a kiss. It's not that I am waiting to do it with my one true love or over an altar, it's just that I've never been interested in girls and coming from the deep south and a Mormon family, being homosexual is not something that people just accept.

My confession is this: I am gay, through and through. I've never had any type of long-term relationship, but I want to. And I have yet to have my first kiss.


  1. Girls LOVE that kind of stuff, wheedling out deep dark secrets they can relentlessly analyze and talk about. It seems to fill an emotional need that guys don't have as much. Trust me, I've had plenty of experience with this. It won't be the last time you are asked this question so better think about an answer or two in advance.

    And just because some nosy girl asks doesn't mean you have to answer. Here's a good all-purpose response that will put all but the most socially dense in her place: "I'll forgive you for asking such a personal question if you'll forgive me for not answering it."

  2. I was the exact same way. Had my first kiss at 23, and it was with a man. Had a girlfriend after my mission, but never had the guts to do anything more than hold her hand. Haha.

  3. "What if she freaks out and doesn't want to be my friend anymore?" I've had this feeling since coming home from the mission. Didn't have any major experience during the mission but I did come home in the midst of the controversy Prop 8 and that tore me apart, seeing how some members and nonmembers alike reacted to the issue.

    But I don't like living in the fear of people not being my friends. I've got to learn to accept who I am first and then I can be open with others about this part of me.

  4. Join the club. If you haven't heard, here at BYU they call it VL--virgin lips. Only in Utah, right? Anyway, I don't see myself losing my VL anytime soon.

  5. I have to tell you this, especially coming from a really small community. When I told my first friend at work that I just love to peices! I knew everything about her and she about me. But when I told her I had something I needed to confess, she got the biggest grin on her face! She loved it! First words she said, "I can take a gay guy shopping!!!" Just get to know her, in a third person way find out what she thinks about it. Thats what I did, and it turned out for the best for me. It took me several years before I told my best friend, but I've not regretted it! I look forward to reading more of what you have to say. Ask me about my experiences, Most of my coming out has happened within the last year! :)